I normally don’t blog here about the downsides of mylife. The chaos. The crazy. The exhaustion. But today I need to let it out!
I’m tired.
5 kids are exhausting!
Homeschooling 4 of them can be stressful. 4 different levels for all the subjects to teach and grade. Pre-Algebra makes me want to pull my hair out most days.
Have a toddler who speaks in screams is enough to do us all in. He loves to hear his voice and he loves to be VERY loud.
My husband works long hours and although I’m very proud of him and what he does, it makes it hard to be the one to get the kids up and put them to bed and do the daily stuff.
Adding a play and play practice for 2 of the kids on top of other extracurricular things makes my head spin.
I make a meal plan each week. Normally things go according to plan. This week, not so much. This week, my kids have had peanut butter sandwiches for dinner 2 days in a row now.
Our bed sheets all need washing.
The bathrooms are a disaster.
“Mount Washmore” is reaching new heights.
I may or may not have showered this week.
I’m trying to eat healthy but the chaos jumps in the middle of that and sometimes convenience has to win.
I’ve yelled.
I’ve moved toys to the new house because I was tired of the kids fighting over them. I have a beautiful new house that we can’t move in yet because lots still needs to be done. It’s a little overwhelming and time consuming.
I haven’t kept up with my reading and quiet time.
I’ve thought about stopping this blog. I just don’t have the time anymore and have a hard time paying to keep the blog running. I’ve poured 7 years into this blog and I think I’m running out of steam. Plus I wonder if anyone is even reading.
I’m grumpy and tired.
Through the midst of this, I know that God is still giving me new mercies each day. New grace. New breath and a fresh new start.
I do enjoy sharing a bit of our life with you guys. I love sharing the new recipes. I love sharing our homeschool adventures. I love writing when I have time.
Tomorrow is a new day, and with that I can rest.
Psalm 62:5-8: For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.
Shari z says
Thank you for your blog. I especially have been blessed by your gift ideas at Christmas. I pray that you get rest and catch up without stress. You are doing an amazing job!
Laura says
Wait, you’re actually human? Life gets hectic but you are amazing at what you do. How many years did you make everything from scratch because of a soy allergy… for a huge family… ? Your children are some of the brightest and most behaved children I know. You should be proud of all you do! Your parenting expands way beyond Peanut butter sandwiches and piles of laundry. Breathe and drink some wine. You are amazing!!
Susan C says
You know that many of us stand in awe of what you do daily…. knowing there’s a human under that Wonder Woman suit makes us all even more impressed!!
Tiena says
Totally understand where you coming from and I have less kids running around the house!
First, I read your blog and very much enjoy it, so you have a least one fan! (Actually I know it to be many, many more!)
I am sure it won’t seem like it right now, but some of the things swirling around you will become your most precious memories (probably not the laundry or the dirty bathrooms though!) My two oldest are either out of the house or about to be soon. I miss all the chaos, because thrown into that chaos are some amazing family moment: siblings loving and helping each other get chores done so they could play a video game together or helping with schoolwork so I could sit with the little one, silly songs, song over and over and over again… slightly off key and at volume 15, sitting and reading their favorite story (again.. at this point from memory) and getting some sweet snuggles snuck in at the same time, cold cereal for dinner because sometimes it’s just fun to have breakfast for dinner (and not because I’m too exhausted to cook!), amazing discoveries they made outside because they needed the sunshine and I need to breathe for just a minute, playing a game of “match the socks” that turns into an all our family sock battle and so, so, so much more. It can be very tough, exhausting, overwhelming, mind-numbing season of life, but it’s over in a flash (at least when you look back…right now, not so much) and oh so worth all the hard times. You will forget about all the stuff that didn’t get done, that you wish you had done, that you had to give up on to save your sanity, and so will your family. They will remember an amazing mom that gave 120% and then some and that loved them with her whole heart. You will remember that each and every day you had with them was an AMAZING gift from God.
Laray says
Hang in there. His mercies are new every morning. I appreciate your blog and your honesty.